And he says....

We have a triple hitter tonight, all said this evening:

We are at a Baptism at the church.  There is chili, rice, cookies, drinks, fruit.  The kid gets all of it, even though he had dinner before the baptism.  Before I know it, he is back with a refill of rice and fruit.  He comes to me and says, "Mom, I think I have a tapeworm."  He was serious. 
*****

In the car, he is reflecting on the school year that is almost over and says, "The only times I got in trouble this year were related to the bathroom."  I agreed with him and we talked about the things he did.  Then he pipes up and says, "Oh yeah, I got in trouble one other time for talking.  That was the day we had a very sensitive substitute."  Lol! 

******

Still driving in the car, all quiet and pensive, and then... Schmoo says, "I am SO glad I am not a Hispanic woman." Me (SO very confused): Um, what!?!? Schmoo: I am SO glad I am not a Hispanic woman. Me: Um, ok. You want to explain yourself? Schmoo: I've heard things. Me: WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! Schmoo: Can we just drop the subject? Me: No. What the heck are you talking about?!? Schmoo just looks at me in the mirror for a minute and says, "I am SO glad that I don't have to say hello to people by kissing them!" Ok, little man, point taken. (I'm thinking he'll change his tune in about 10 years...)